The urge of doing more…even when less is required.
Why is it that when something doesn’t look good in our life we want either hide it or if we can’t, we want to compensate for it? (in case you don’t know I am a recovering bulimic…I know the feeling and the despair in which addiction drags us day after day. )
Do you delete your posts?
A big influencer in the mum business even told me the other day that she deletes any post that performs under 500 likes in her grid – because it doesn’t look good. I hear the same of amazing women who delete their TikTok videos if there is no view on it – because it looks really bad.
This just kills me and makes me feel sad – because this means that influential women don’t feel good enough. Do you know what it reminds me of?
School.
School is probably the place where it was implanted in our brain. Good marks = good girl.
Notice: at home…how many times I heard my friends told me that if they don’t have the marks their parents were expecting, they would not get this present at Christmas or get out this weekend.
All this comes back to one WORD: JUDGMENT.
And the worse judgement that can be thrown at us is our OWN judgement.
This is why social media is triggering so much emotion. You hear so much about how social media is bad for your mental health.
I personally think – it is just a mirror of who we are – no less – no more than that.
Let’s stop inventing these theories about how much social media has created a NEW monster in our society.
The pain is here any way. Social media is a place to express it. Work it. The good and the bad.
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t support seeing beheaded humans on social media. I’m talking about the traditional feed posts you can see on a regular basis where either everybody looks happy and sexy or the negative, rant posts that kill your morale.
The good news is that there is a way to WIN.
And it begins with the inner work.
Yes, our social media influence is proportional to the inner work we do at changing our beliefs about what we are about and who we are – without the bells and whistles.
Very often, the pollution that affects our thought comes from our past experiences, old beliefs that we had in our extended family or community.
A big one for me is this. The little girl I was had heard things like money is dirty, wash your hands. At school, because I was a farm girl, I was considered dirty and poor.
My parents were not poor but money was tight until I was 18 and I couldn’t wear all the fancy clothes that the other kids had (at least the way I was seeing it).
By the way, these types of cars are for rich people only. Society was judging me a lot for my parent’s job but I had good marks at school so I was worth being considered (by society’s standards) for jobs, to be allowed in a Parisian university, etc.
These stories were generational stories that shaped my mindset for a long time and still show up here and there. And we all have some stories that are limiting us right now…
What I have learnt after almost a decade of increasing my online presence (and helping others to do the same to make more money and more impact in the world) is this:
- it’s imperative to notice the old stories you play in your head and rewrite them with expansive ones
- you can’t stop others’ judgment (OTHERS have their own stories running in their heads also and you are not responsible for these.)
- the clearer you are about who you are as a woman entrepreneur and who you help and why…the calmer and deeper you’ll show up online with joy, excitement, and abundance. You won’t need to delete any posts that suck because you are who you are and the journey is not ending today. In fact, every day you plant the seeds of the movement you are building with the people who get attracted by what you do for them and for the world.
Now, I’m sending this to help you keep going. Never stop. Work the inner work. This is how you get your online work, work.
If this resonates with you a little, please tell me. I would love to know it.
No matter what your urge of doing more is about, check with yourself that it is about your mission and not about proving to others or yourself that you are capable. Because the truth is as below.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Angélique Binet is a social media marketing consultant specialized in paid traffic and client acquisition for women entrepreneurs & speakers, founder of Social Media Love, as well as a paid media strategist for the province of New Brunswick (Canada). She was a French newspaper journalist and Canadian TV reporter. Raised on a farm in France, Binet is a graduate of La Sorbonne University in Paris, and King’s College University in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
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